An advice.

Today i would like to give a simple advice;

  Never let go of the people, who genuinely care about you.

Now when i look around, i see less humanity, i see less amount of love and kindness among the humans. I see everyone thinking about themselves and NOTHING more.

And finding a soul, who care about you, and your existence in this cruel world is no less than a blessing. 

I care too, and once i cared deeply, like I’ve never cared for anyone before and i got nothing in return but harsh words or being pushed away. I guess that’s what you wanted? Nobody to care about you? But darling, I’m sorry i cared, more like cared way too much. 

*sigh* 

Now honestly, at night my mind does nothing but overthink, which i must say it isn’t something i should be doing. I just feel hopeless, you know that sinking feeling, where you feel like

My existence doesn’t matter. 

Yeah.. that’s something i think of every night. 

But sometimes you meet someone who will give you some hope. Who will enter your life like a ray of sunshine, in a dark room. He came to me like a rescuer. I did a mistake too, i pushed him away, but he didn’t give up on me. He would tell me to remove my anger on him, when i was mad. One day when i was hungry, and sad at the same time, he asked me if he should get me food? And i laughed and brushed it off. I though that, “Oh he isn’t that jobless.” But guess what? After a few minutes i get a call from him. He asks me to come under my building, and there he was standing with a McDonald’s pack with his adorable smile.  Trust me, i felt special that time. Like somebody does give a shit. If I’ve to give a reason why am i alive? He would probably be one of them. I’m so thankful to god that i met him, a friend i would never wanna loose. Everytime he cracks funny jokes and does everything he can to cheer me up. He thinks he’s not cute, or attractive he is adorable, and his heart, is beautiful and pure.❤

Another example, I’ve a friend, i met him online. When he sent me request on instagram, i didn’t accept it. I told him he’s a stranger and i won’t accept it until i get to know him. We spoke and then we became friends. And with time our bond grew stronger, he knew i was broken, and he would listen to me rant about all the pain within me, once when he saw a picture of my cuts, he got so mad, i tried my very best not to cut after that. And i know he’s broken too, but he is positive.  He is an idol for me. He is healing, rejuvinating.

 Sometimes you need to know that isolation isn’t the solution for your problems…

The people who care about you, deserve a place in your heart. Don’t push them away.  

PS : I would not say that only the opinions of others matter, or that you should live for others but sometimes when you have people in your life, who care about you, they deserve some respect and love in return.

Until next time…

I HOPE YOU GET BETTER..

Hey there, 

You could say this a letter to all the broken people out there.

I know you are going through a very hard time, you are terrified. You want all the chaos and pain to stop. You feel like giving up, all the energy and passion in you has drained. You mind has become parched with no desires. And you think it’s the end. There is nothing more you can do. Do i think of it in the same manner? No. Why? Let me give you an example;

When i was around 8 years old, i had a chapter in my school, it was about clocks and time. It terrified me. Everytime we had a test on it, i would get so scared. I would try to figure it out but eventually get exhausted and give up. At that time learning about time was no less than a nightmare for me. 

Another example, When i was 4 years old, i didn’t know how to pronounce the word “Garlic.” Yeah… weird i know, but my dad wanted me to have a stable vocabulary.  So, everyday i would have to repeat the word “Garlic” around 10 times, and  if i made a mistake i was given a punishment to stand on a table. It wasn’t scary to be honest, but at that age, i was extremely frightened. I considered my life as a really hard one. I would hug my teddy at night and tell him that i dont like studying.  

And now when i think of all this, i feel like laughing. I mean yes, at that time it felt like a phase that would never get over. That’s exactly what I’m trying to say, the difficulties that we are going through now might seem like a never ending maze to us, but it’s not. It will come to an end. You have to find your way out of the maze. This is the time where you don’t give up on life, but you stand up with your chin high, and show life that you aren’t going to give up. And you shouldn’t. 

John Green, one of my favourite author, in one of his books, he has a beautiful question;

“When will get over the labyrinth of suffering?”

The answer is simple, FORGIVENESS. Yes, forgive. Forgive others for all the pain they have put you through intentionally or unintentionally. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for trusting the wrong people, forgive yourself for committing mistakes.  It all begins within you. No one can change your life,  but you! 

Remember, great things, take time. There are plenty of things that you still have to experience. 

I hope for the best and i don’t want you to loose hope. I’m in pain too, but I’m not gonna let my demons win over me, and i want you to do the same. 

Keep smiling.

XOXO.

Do you know how that feels? 

Do you how that feels when you push me away? 

Do you know that feels when you tell me I’m suicidal mess? 

Do you know that feels when you tell me i should fuck off?

 Do you know how that feels when you tell me i brought you down like the others? 

Do you know that feels when you tell me i should go kill myself?

It fucking hurts. It feels like your shooting me with arrows, your ripping my heart out. All i ever did was love immensely and want more time and was that too much for you? 

Was falling in love with you, a mistake? 

Beauty lies within you…

What according to you is beauty? what do you think is beautiful and attracting to the human eye? 

now many of you may say, the sunset is beautiful, the snow is beautiful, a baby’s smile is beautiful, the waves of the sea are beauty etc.I completely agree.

But how many of you have the willpower to say that beauty lies within you? Yes, i agree that beauty lies in nature, children etc but many a times most of  us ignore the beauty within us. Why? Don’t you think your beautiful? Don’t you think you have a beautiful heart? And now you might say that sounds like self obsession, that’s a different thing. Self obsession is when you think nothing is as beautiful or as important as you.  Believing that you are beautiful is a kind of confidence in its own way. If someone compliments you, then take that as a plus point along with your self confidence. But you don’t have to feel important and beautiful only when someone compliments you.

Let me tell you one thing, that everyone one has a different perspective. You can’t expect everyone one to love you. But you surely can love yourself. You surely can remove some time from your hectic and busy schedules and relax, give your body some rest.

Believe in yourself. You are a beautiful creation. You will face criticism, if you feel that you need to make some improvements then go ahead, but do not degrade yourself.

Keep shining beauties!!!!!!!

 

 

 

Emotional or Logical

There are different categories, in which humans can be categorized. One of them is being emotional or logical in nature.

The people who belong in the emotional section are more sensitive and fragile. They think more with their heart and less with their mind. Feelings play a important role in their lives. Memories they have spent with someone may mean the world to them.  Their heart, may contain memories that they are living in, but they want to move on.

The people who belong in the logical section are more strong. They maybe strong naturally or may have become strong with the lesson they have learnt in life. The logical group of people  think with their mind most of the time. And no i wouldn’t say that they have no heart or feelings they do, but they know  when they have to restrain. They also have memories with so many people and some memories that they are trying to lock away, which they do because they think logically. They come to conclusion after a good amount of consideration and thinking. And I’m not referring to overthinking here. That is a complete different scenario.

Personally speaking, i’m an emotional person. I think with my heart. Thinking with your heart is not a wrong , but sometimes you need to use logic as well. Emotions and feelings can stir us. i sometimes get blinded by emotions, i don’t think about the consequences, i stay oblivious to everything, which i believe is wrong. And sometimes i get way too emotional, i cry even  when i get angry, all the anger and pain in me just pours downs my eyes for hours. Memories that i’m try to lock  away are still running through my mind all day long. Memories a’rent something that you can forget but there is need to control it, if you have to. There is a need to put a stop things that do nothing but harm your mind and soul.\ But also I’ve noticed that being way too logical can be harmful, you start becoming selfish. In a way when you are logical you may think of the outcomes but not the emotional outcomes. You may think less about others feelings,

Now that i think of it, i think a mixture of both is the best. Its not good to be completely emotionless and its not good to be way too emotional either. We must learn to use our mind in situations  where it is needed and not just think emotionally. And we are all humans, not robots we are born with emotions and feelings we must learn to not get carried away. While being logical we must consider our surrounding and how it is going to affect it.

what is your opinion? please share your thoughts in the comment section below.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Self harming

Self harming. Sounds crazy doesn’t it? I mean come on, How stupid is it to harm yourself? That’s what most of  the people think.

The reality is, a person doesn’t come to point of self harming, just like that. And no they don’t do it seek your God damn   attention. From a self harmers point of view, it’s an escape. An escape from all the bullshit that they are going through. Every individual has his/her own reasons for harming themselves. Anxiety, stress, depression etc. For instance,  if you are constantly told everyday that you are useless, you start believing it, you start hating yourelf, you start harming yourself in all the chaos. They find peace when they bleed.

Another instance, I had a friend in school, She used to self harm. But what surprised me was more than taking an initiative  to stop her, people judged her. Called her crazy, attention seeker etc. I mean that’s how we all are aren’t we? We just need a reason to gossip. We need a reason to judge. I tired to stop her, but she didn’t listen but I knew that she would stop one or the other day. And yes she has stopped. Things are not the same between us anymore, but I’m proud of her.

I’m writing about self harming because I want all you self harmers out there to know your not weak, You are a warrior. You have the potential. You have the strength. People may judge you, some may try to stop you, But it all depends on you. You have to be your own knight in shining armour. Take enough time, But remember you can’t give up so fast. You are gonna fight. Yes, fight all the demons inside. You are worth it darling. I don’t want to see any scars on that beautiful skin of yours.

You wanna know something, I was a self harmer too, I would cut myself everytime somebody hurt my feelings. But guess what, I realized that all this is temporary. We have so much more coming up in life. My skin doesn’t need these scars. I’m fighting the demons inside me, and i want you to  do the same. If I can do it, so can you.

Shine.

Look at you, what have you done to yourself? Where is that heart warming smile? Where is the shine in your eyes? The melody in your laughter? What have you done to yourself? 

Why do i see scars, on you? Why are your eyes puffy? Why do you have eye bags? Why do i see no emotion in your eyes? 

Darling, listen to me, you are a masterpiece. And a creation as beautiful as you should not self destruct. I want you to  shine, you are a true gem. Shine darling, shine like the way you should. Don’t loose hope, all storms come to an end. Do not loose the battle. That’s not who you are.  

Failure

Failure. We all fail in one way or another in our lives. Honestly speaking it is a part of  our life. It reincarnates you into a stronger soul.

A very simple instance from my life at the moment, I  got the results of my exam, and guess what? I failed in a subject. And honestly I’m not suprised, i  lost track. I  got distracted. That was a big mistake on my part. I was the one of the best scorers in my class last year, and now I’m a failure. Everyone around me is talking about what happened to me? And to be honest  part of me is deeply hurt,  for I’ve never failed in any of my exams. But now that i think of it? It’s my mistake. I gave up. I let things distract me. I let the pain inside me win. I let the pain control my mind. But this has taught me a lesson, that our life eventually depends on us and no one else. At the end of the day it our decision to reach our goals.

I felt ashamed when i got to know i failed, but there is no point in crying over spilled milk. It’s time now. Its time for me to stand up back up. And i will, i will stand back up 10 times stronger. I will not give up. I know i want to successful in life, and to reach my destiny i will work hard.

I just want you to know that failing does not mean you are worthless, no you are  worth everything. Life is not easy, it was never and never will be. You won’t reach your goals just like that. You need to be determined. And maybe you may fail more than once, but it’s okay. I want you to know that you are one hell of a strong person. And you have been through a lot and look at you? You made it till here, you have stumbled plenty of times and you may stumble more but hang in there sweetheart. Hold on tight. You are gonna make it. Believe in yourself!

Dissapointment

Dear Life,

You disappoint me most of the time,

I lay awake and ponder that why am i going through all this?

I’m disappointed with you, but I’m not suprised, you are mean’t to be hard and not easy.

The more you make me fall, the more i  learn, more stronger i grow.

#Dont give up on life.

 

 

Let’s begin.

Hey everyone.

Let me start off by introducing myself, I’m Fiza, a normal 17 year girl. Like I mentioned in my description, I’m not a professional writer. But we all go through a lot of experiences, we all have a lot in our minds, and that’s why I’m here, just to share my thoughts and experiences.

Rejuvenation. We all need to heal from  all our scars, and that’s my goal right now, to rejuvenate and help others in the process.